Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
