there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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