She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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