I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
