Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
did you just send me my own nude
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
