why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
