I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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