It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
