When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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