Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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