I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
