"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
