if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
