yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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