i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
