Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
