Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
