this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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