i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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