bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
