Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
