You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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