Apparently you make a good broom.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
