dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
