I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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