I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
