You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
