she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
