The maid of honor just puked.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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