Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
