do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we're making bets on your personal life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
