Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
