So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I could fuck to npr.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
