come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
