Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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