I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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