mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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