I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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