Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
