she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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