Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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