Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
