And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
