I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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