i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
