Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
