those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
