His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
