My boss' voice literally gives me gas
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
