Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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