i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
How's work?
Spinning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
