fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
